Caring from a Distance

Many family caregivers are presented with the added challenge of caring for a family member long distance. Though more and more families are dispersed across the country or even around the world, the demands of caring for ill or aging family members are still present. Long-distance caregiving often involves specific concerns that are different from those families who live near each other.
 
Although one's initial reaction may be to move a family member closer, consider first whether this might be more disruptive and stressful for everyone involved.
 
Are you prepared to have them live with you? Or are you prepared to be their only social contact once they have moved away from what is familiar to them? If they are coming from out-of-province, when will they qualify for medical services in this province?
 
Below are some suggestions for bridging the miles and making caring at a distance easier:

• Since you can't drop in to see how things are going, call home often. Listen closely to their comments or complaints and ask questions that can alert you to changes in their health or routines.
• Establish a support network in your family member's hometown with contact people who can provide you with a clear picture of the situation. These people might include a close friend, a minister, a doctor or others who regularly visit them. Ask them to alert you if they notice changes in your family member's behaviour, appearance, memory, mobility or food habits.
• Ask someone to check in with your family member on a regular basis. Keep the contact information of this person with you at all times and ensure that they have your contact information. If you are worried, you can't call that "nice young couple next door" to check in, if you don't know their name or telephone number.
• Gather information about services, resources and other options for care available in their community. Do this in advance, even if you don't need these services right now. Have them on hand before a crisis happens. You can find these resources on the Internet or pick up a copy of the local telephone directory next time you visit.
• Schedule regular visits.
• You need to make the most of your limited time there, so plan in advance for what you need to accomplish during the visit, in addition to visiting with your relative. Be observant while you are there. Are they eating regularly? Are their bills being paid?
• Some communities offer telephone assurance programs usually staffed by volunteers, who check in on frail and disabled persons living alone. Many volunteer organizations also have friendly visitor programs that provide regular visits to those who are housebound.
• In a non-emergency situation, try to step back and evaluate whether you need to travel or if you can send someone else. Can someone locally handle the situation? This will free up your time and money for emergencies or times when it is essential for you to be there.

Article by, By Family Caregivers' Network Society, Reprinted with permission by Senior Living Magazine